WINNING TOGETHER
CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN THE WORKPLACE
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CONFLICT RESOLUTION
by Brian Harris
It has sometimes been said that conflict is a necessary part of growth, yet for many businesses and individuals conflict results in stress, frustration, and sometimes defeat. A conflict between an employer and several employees threatens to affect production. A conflict between two colleagues stalls the progress of a project. A conflict between an employee and a customer results in a lost sale and an unhappy customer. A conflict in a marriage leads to an emotional breakdown. Conflict, in one form or another, is a daily part of our lives. Some people take conflict in stride and even seem to prosper from it while others encounter an increase in stress and sometimes disillusionment.
The following provide ten tips to help you better manage conflict, whether it is occurring in your personal life or at work. As with any other skill practice will improve your mastery of these techniques.
1) STAY CALM
Most conflicts involve other people. The basis of the conflict generally has something to do with their needs being different than your needs. When people get their backs up against a wall conflicts begin to escalate. Even if you don’t like the other person respect what they have to say. It is the old familiar phrase of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
It is also important in this first step for anyone handling the conflict to remain calm. Calmness can assist the person in handling the remainder of the steps in a rational manner.
2) BE SENSITIVE TO THE EMOTIONS INVOLVED
Conflicts tend to open a flood of emotions. As a husband and wife argue over a financial concern it doesn’t take long before the emotional outburst threatens to make the situation worse. Let the other person express his/her emotions completely before any attempt is made to resolve the problem. While expressing emotions may be healthy to individuals, solving conflicts becomes more effective when emotions have run their course.
3) PUT YOURSELF IN THE OTHER PERSON’S SHOES AS YOU ATTEMPT TO UNDERSTAND THEIR POSITION
As you listen to another person’s needs and views concerning the conflict, constantly paraphrase and summarize their words in a real attempt to understand what is being said. During this time make every effort to avoid the temptation to express your reactions, concerns, and views. By truly understanding another person you may gain some insights that will help resolve the conflict. When you understand their views there is a greater likelihood that they will take the time to understand your needs and interests.
4) BE ASSERTIVE IN STATING YOUR VIEWS, NEEDS, AND FEELINGS
Once you understand the other side of the conflict it is important that you become assertive in expressing your views, needs and feelings. Express these by focusing on the conflict instead of attacking the other person which will help prevent the other party from becoming defensive. When all the people involved in the conflict understand each other’s needs and views it is easier to move towards solving the conflict in a positive way.
5) FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM INSTEAD OF THE PERSONALITIES
Although people can become annoying and frustrating in a conflict situation it is important for you to focus on the actual problem instead of the personalities of those people involved in the conflict. A divorcing couple are seeking a custodial arrangement which best meets the needs of their children. When the couple begin to attack each other or use the children as an opportunity to get even with the other person, the attention given to the personalities can then have a detrimental affect on finding a solution to the problem which was in this case finding a custodial arrangement that is best for the children.
6) LEARN TO IDENTIFY A PROBLEM IN TERMS OF NEEDS OR INTERESTS
An employer and employee are involved in a conflict related to the employee’s request for a salary increase. The employer flatly refuses to grant any salary increase due to difficult economic times. The employee threatens to perform the minimum work required. The employer would like to increase business profits. The employee would like a raise. The two demands in the conflict are not necessarily incompatible. Perhaps the employee has concrete ideas on ways to increase productivity for the business. Putting some of these ideas into action could increase the employer’s profits making it easier to grant the employee the desired pay raise. Looking beyond a conflict to identify the needs and interests of the people involved can often lead to creative solutions which best help everyone involved.
7) EXPAND THE LIST OF POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
A unemployed person has reached the end of the line in suffering rejection letters. With the help of some friends a list is made of all the possible ways this person might apply for a job instead of sending letters. The list is compiled with no attempt to criticize or edit any suggestions. By expanding the possible ways to solve a problem there is often a solution that was missed because the people involved in the conflict had a pre-conceived notion as to how the conflict should be solved. Sometimes the most inflexible goals are best satisfied by the most flexible plans.
SELECT THE SOLUTION THAT WILL BEST MEET THE NEEDS OF BOTH PARTIES
The most workable solutions for conflicts are the ones that best please all the parties involved in the problem. One of the major reasons why apparent agreements end up causing more conflict is because one side perceives that the other side got the better deal. In looking at the list of possible solutions there will often be one or two possibilities that best meet the needs of both parties. If not, then attempt to agree on a process to make a fair decision in choosing the best solution. Good solutions end conflicts rather than permitting them to fester.
9) IMPLEMENT THE SOLUTION
Once a solution has been accepted by both parties it is important to take action to implement whatever was agreed upon. Successful plans have both manageable steps and specific timelines to complete each step. Procrastination in implementing a solution can undermine the most promising agreements to end conflicts.
10) UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF WORKING AT MAINTAINING YOUR SOLUTIONS
Conflicts are often the result of people doing things in a habitual manner, sometimes the result of personality and other times the result of tradition, previous agreements or contracts. We all know that habits are hard to change. Any solution to a conflict, as good as it may appear, will be unsuccessful unless a conscientious attempt is made to maintain the terms that were part of the solution. A regular review by the parties involved is integral to the ongoing success of any agreements. Such regular communication also builds a positive framework to handle future conflicts in a meaningful manner.